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Spousal and Bodily Burdens

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When Youth and/or Youth in Retrospect Can Be Trouble

I've Been with My Partner 12 years and...

Kissing, Yelling, Flirting

Questioning Faith

Helpless, Unhappy, and Alone

Health Insurance, Parents, and Husbands

Dating, Dating, Marrying?

The Wedding Issue

Murky Waters

Compassion, Paranoia, & Gerbils

Sweatshirts, Exes, and Self-Destruction


Al Veoli: Health Insurance, Parents, and Husbands

Al Veoli

Dear Al Veoli:

I have fibromyalgia. I am starting to get some things under control, but am still seeing several doctors. I have found The Doctor, and naturally, he is the most expensive. We share a medical condition, so he really understands what I'm going through. I am still trying to find a full-time job. Part-time jobs have no health benefits, and my COBRA will run out soon. I won't know if my job will be full-time until then. I've applied for insurance through a certain company, and just found out it would be $1300 per MONTH. At first, I thought it said year, but went back and saw that it indeed said MONTH. What kind of a sick society do we live in?


Dear Shocked:

The right drugs can be very expensive, the right jobs may not have any health benefits, and COBRA itself is problematic. The best thing to do is probably go price comparison shopping for different insurance offers. One company may be better than the one you went through, and in the meantime, you can continue to search for a full-time job. With any luck this will be a very temporary solution to your woes.

Dear Al Veoli:

My parents are a little overbearing. I'm finally 18 and I figured life would be a lot more free, but it's not. I screwed up 2 weeks ago, and came home very drunk and my parents found me asleep on my floor. now they do not trust me at all. I babysat tonight, got off 11 and decided to run to the windmill to get a hot dog before heading home and my mom apparently drove past the house, didn't see my car and called me, flipping out. I was grounded for 2 weeks but it's memorial day weekend! and I wasn't even going out. Now, I understand my drunk scene was stupid and I regret it. But it's the first time it's happened, and I'm a straight A-student got into a good college. I just don't understand how at 18, they're still grounding me. I'd rather talk it out, that way I won't get mad and sneak around.


Dear Sneaking:

Life is bad when one cannot even repair to the windmill for a hot dog and some redemption. Unfortunately, once trust between parents and children is broken, it sometimes takes a while to fix it. Try to be helpful around the house--offer to do chores--work hard--and perhaps your parents will realize that you're a law-abiding citizen. Also, verbalize your recognition that being drunk on the floor was not ideal; this might help you, too.

Dear Al Veoli:

MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN ACTING DISTANT AND STRANGE. He left on a trip and I snooped in his briefcase and I found a couple of business cards for free entry in a strip club with the personal phone number written on the back. The strip club is a block or so from his new office. He has been going there during the day for "lunch" I do not trust him. I have been asking him what the hell is wrong lately. when I pick him up from his train he can't even look me in the eye and he smells of alcohol. I'd rather leave than be made a fool of. Any advice?

-Embattled Briefcase

Dear Embattled Briefcase:

You need to have a conversation with your husband immediately about his behavior. Maybe he's having some problems at work, or maybe he's having some problems with your marriage, and he's resorting to the strip club for emotion/stress release. Maybe he's not having any problems at all but is simply interested in strip clubs and alcohol. Regardless, since you are his partner, you need to trust him, and since you don't trust him right now, something needs to change. If he is closemouthed and refuses to be honest about his activities when you speak with him, perhaps suggest counseling. But a marriage that operates on the basis of one partner lying about his/her daytime activities is not a healthy one. Good luck.

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