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Cleaning, Confusing, and Mothering Woes

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No Love for Me

     
 

Al Veoli: In Love and War

Al Veoli

Dear Al Veoli:

My boyfriend and I have been together 4 years now. I love him very much but he has a major problem. He thinks of himself way too much. I am 9 months pregnant and I can have this baby anytime now. Well the other night he went out bar hopping with his friends and said I could not go. Although they went to a pool hall that all ages can go to. He has no problem leaving me behind at home when I can go into labor at anytime. His father has told him many of times that I do not need to be left home by myself. He just will not listen to what either of us has to say. My fiancÚ acts as if it will break his wallet to buy me things. As of right now I do not have a job. I am far away from home and my family. My fiancÚ has cheated on me in the past. I gave him a second chance after being separated for a month. I don't think he is cheating on me. He just will not listen to me. What should I do??

-Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken:

Al Veoli is not a big fan of your boyfriend. Put bluntly, he needs to accept responsibility for you and the baby that you will soon have, or he should not be with you. There are many men who would be extremely grateful for a wife and child, and who would not choose to barhop or leave their girlfriend home alone when she is about to go into labor. Your boyfriend should not need his father to tell him this; clearly your partner is not ready to be a father himself. Al Veoli suggests that you think very carefully about whether you wish to condone the horrible way you are treated, and moreover, whether you wish to raise a child in that environment.


Dear Al Veoli:

Well, my bff's ex keeps using all these excuses about him cheating on her but every time he says he loves her she falls back in love with him when she knows he's going to end up cheating on her again. She doesn't listen to me when I tell her why do you keep going back to him when he's going to cheat on you anyways?

-Angry Friend

Dear Angry Friend:

If all were fair in love and war, then love and war would probably not exist. Apparently your best friend enjoys, or at least is willing to tolerate, this sort of behavior. Perhaps you are the sensible one always telling her to not use too many condiments on her food, drive too quickly, and buy that too-expensive pair of Mandy jeans. But there's no accounting for taste, and if your best friend wishes to remain with someone who disenfranchises her daily, that is, unfortunately, her pathetic right.


Dear Al Veoli:

I am a bisexual but I don't know what to tell my mom I mean every time I mention one of my "bi" friends she says stuff like"....o they're just saying that because they want attention" I've known I've been bisexual for over a year now...I don't know what to tell my mom because I like this girl and she likes me and we've been wanting to get together for a while now but I've been afraid of what's going to happen if my mom finds out. I don't know what she will think of me then. Please help me out with my decision.

-Half and Half

Dear Half and Half:

Al Veoli understands your quandary. It sounds as if you are interested in this woman, but also care about your mother's opinion of you and do not want to damage your relationship with her. Both are more than normal. Al Veoli advises you to be honest and straightforward with your mother, albeit tactful. Try bringing up the subject of same sex relationships and see what your mother's reaction is--that may help you determine how best to broach the subject of your interest in this woman.


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