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Al Veoli: Conscience and Communication

Al Veoli

Dear Al Veoli:

I broke up with my boyfriend for a week and during that time I cheated on him. This was over a year ago, but he doesn't know anything about it. We are now getting ready to get married. Should I tell him about what happened?

-Wary in White

Dear Wary in White:

Before you walk down the aisle in your lovely dress, perhaps you should clear the air with your boyfriend, soon to be husband. If you and he had broken up when you were involved with this other fellow, then technically, you were not cheating on him at all. It might hurt him that you had this fling with someone else, but you were not being dishonest then--and neither should you be now. Honesty is always the best policy. Though you are in no way obligated to tell him of this fling, and though it is entirely your business, why not be straightforward and upfront before you tie the knot? You would probably desire the same from him, n'est pas?

Dear Al Veoli:

I want a cell phone but my parents keep saying no. I've written letters and even come up with reasons why I do need one. I've gone on plenty of persuasion sites but they keep saying no. How do I get them to say yes?


Dear Cell-less:

Al Veoli applauds your perseverance in this venture. The best suggestion Al Veoli can make is to find out your parents' exact reasoning for forbidding the phone. Is it because it is too expensive? Perhaps you could pay for it or at least contribute to the cost. Is it too much of a distraction? Perhaps you could promise to only use it during certain hours (at night, for example, rather than during math class) or for a limited amount of time each day. Try addressing their particular concerns, and perhaps things will work out.

Dear Al Veoli:

I have liked this boy for about 7 months. We used to be classmates, but we're no longer in the same school. My problem is, he's kinda a mr nice guy - he's very helpful to everyone. The thing is, while he does very sweet things like asking me to dance, giving me flowers, baking me cookies and comes out of his way to my home to help me out, He never initiates anything - he doesn't call or message me at all. And when we go out, I'm always the one asking for it. So while he doesn't do all these things, when we're out together, he does all these sweet things. We usually go out in a group, but lately we've gone out alone because he wanted to treat me for my birthday. The feelings I have for him fluctuates, sometimes he feels like he's just a buddy, but others it seems like we're a couple. What does it sound like to you?


Dear Initiator:

Al Veoli understands that it can be frustrating to always be the one to initiate things in affairs of the heart. But while this fellow perhaps does not call or "message" you at all, he seems to do a myriad of other wonderful things--asking you to dance is lovely; giving you flowers is very generous; baking you cookies is achingly sweet. You should definitely appreciate the kind of fellow you have here, one far superior to the kind of guy who only sends a text message. As for determining his degree of "like" for you, why don't you propose a romantic dinner for two, and see what he has to say. If he suggests inviting Frank and Billy and Rich and Ken, then you know he's more into the buddy ensemble. If he lights up and comes to your door with a single red rose, then there are other things on his mind.

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