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Al Veoli: The Internet, the Pain, and the Trust

Al Veoli

Dear Al Veoli:

I met this really awesome guy online, and we met in person once because we found out we live in the same town. I really like him so far but I hate telling people I met a guy online. Do you think internet dating/relationships are weird or creepy?


Dear Webphobic:

Al Veoli used to be of the opinion that online dating was not safe, that it was icky, and that it was just another form of the newspaper personals. She has relentedly acknowledged that this assessment was offbase. Meeting someone online these days is not necessarily weird or creepy, and it can even be exciting and fun. Al Veoli knows several successful couples that met through an online dating service. As long as you meet people in public, well-lit locales--basically as long as there are other people around and not just the other person's friends and buddies--meeting someone from the internet can be okay. In terms of you hating to tell people how you met, you can always say that you met locally, which in fact you did, so it's not a total lie. It's not anyone's business but yours anyway.

Dear Al Veoli:

I broke up with my ex-boyfriend of 4 years almost a year ago...he cheated on me several of times and I loved him so much I continued with him...at last I could not take it anymore so I left him. I have tried to get over him, but the truth is I can't. I haven't been able to date other guys because I find myself thinking of him. There are times when I think I am, but really I'm not. I never cheated on him but I feel like I'm the one that did something wrong. I hadn't seen him in some months...but just last weekend I ran into him and now he has been on my mind. What hurts is that I continue to hear about all kinds of girls he messed around with...Please advise me on what I can do?

-Broken Heart

Dear Broken Heart:

Take my hand...Take my whole life, too. I can't help...falling in love with you. Al Veoli supposes that this song never really goes out of style and always remains prescient. We all have this individual in our lives: someone we love to no end but who does return our affection. However, you yourself recognize how much this person continues to hurt your feelings and your psyche, so it's healthy for you to maintain your distance. Al Veoli heralds the fact that you left the relationship in the first place.

Dear Al Veoli:

Should I date my ex-boyfriend again? He broke up with me about 2 years ago for another woman, and married her. But now they're separated and about to be divorced. He says to me "I married the wrong woman; I should have stayed with you." He tells me he wants us to be together again. I really do still love him and I do want to be with him, but I'm afraid to trust him again.


Dear Trustless:

No. You should not date your ex-boyfriend again. It may well be that he regrets marrying his ex-wife, but this person left you before for someone he deemed superior, and who's to say he wouldn't do this again? Do not trust him. Trust yourself, trust your hesitation to trust him, and either enjoy being on your own, and find a new partner who is your equal in trust.

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